Thursday, May 1, 2014

Recipes for Sleep: Matrix Style

Insomnia. The inability to fall asleep or once attaining sleep, the inability to stay asleep. After days of being in this twilight world, things seem different. It is almost as if the world is finally exposed as the Matrix.

The Matrix abounds with reality/not reality, sleep/not sleep and drug like references. Being one of a few sufferers in my office, we have discussed home remedies that we have used. I wouldn't suggest using them but here is what we came up with.

2 packets of NeoCitran
225 mL boiling water

This is the unjacked version. Add two packets to the water and you will be meeting Morpheus, the god of dreams, soon.

The One shot of vodka
The One glass of prepared NeoCitran 

Add the vodka to the NeoCitran. Always use the one without acetaminophen in alcohol based stupor because you don't want to tax your organs.

There is no spoon.

3 shots of vodka
1 packet NeoCitran
225 mL boiling water

Add all to the boiling water. At this point, you may wish you trusted in the One instead of going with Trinity.

1 shot curacao
1 shot cherry brandy
1 packet NeoCitran
225 mL boiling water in a glass

Put all ingredients on a silver tray. Place it down and concentrate.
You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
Now, I'm not a pharmacist nor a drug rep but I believe these remedies are not recommended. What I will say that as a long time sufferer of insomnia, sometimes this gives you a momentary respite from the daily grind of the Matrix. For a few hours, you can enjoy an alternate universe where movies happen in your head. They are not necessarily joyful and can sometimes be overlong. When you reach the point in you non sleeping cycle, sometimes, just sometimes you believe. Like Neo with your being at the computer every night, hardly sleeping, you want to believe in the Matrix. 

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